At first I thought I could do this. But I’ve done it for a year and a half now. I can’t do it any more. I can’t do this thing where I don’t get to see you. It’s bollocks. Ultimately it’s entirely up to you whether you wanna do anything about this. But I’m fed up of trying to be whatever the hell it is you want me to be. I’m fed up with not feeling good enough. I’m fed up with everything I do getting thrown back in my face. Yeah I know you’re always busy and you’re tired and blah blah blah.. Maybe it’s the way I look that makes you not wanna see me. Maybe it’s the fantasy of what I am and what I could be that you like. Rather than the reality do what I am. Maybe that’s what stops you. Maybe you’re embarrassed to be seen with me and for people to think you even know me. Maybe if I was skinny, and pretty, and looked the way you want me to you’d see me, and wouldn’t put so many obstacles in the way. Coz it’s always a fucking excuse with you. Always. Coz if that’s what it is, then I expected nothing less. I fully fucking expected this of you. And if anything, I’m fucking embarrassed that I love someone like that the way I do.